Breaking up with someone who's been inconsiderate and abusive is tough.  Let's say you've been through a lot already - you got raped in your sleep, you got raped brutally twice in a single day by someone who swore they love you and will always protect you, you got strangled with their hands and they even did it with a pair of your jeans, he doesn't respect your right to say no, he doesn't respect that after everything that has happened you don't actually feel comfortable to be intimate right away and you only give in because he would otherwise sulk or kick you out or start a fight all over again, he agrees to the ground rules of starting over on a clean slate that you want to take things slow and not be pressured into anything sexual so quickly but minutes later he's pressured you to the point you just give up - that's misery in itself.  But what's worse is when he owes you $1200 (and more than that if you count the meals that you graciously bought him while he was flat broke and swore to pay you back) from quite a few months ago.  What's even worse is his parents who've teamed up with him are pressuring you to not press charges for his crimes, and who are flat out refusing to pay you back until you make your decision.

It's like reliving September/October 2009 all over again, with the constant "say this to the magistrate, and say that too so he will look good and all this will seem small and petty so that the AVO will get revoked... you do want the relationship and if you do love him then you'll get it revoked".  I've been through enough and still going through more than my fair share.  He's broken his word and disrespected me and my control over my body so many times.  Yet I'm the only one getting any professional help at all.

And that brings me to today.  I haven't slept well in 5 days, only had 3 meals at the most in that 5 days and am probably going to starve until I either drop dead, go to the police or have my money that is rightfully mine returned to me.  It isn't a fair fight, isn't a fair thing to do to someone you say you love, because I have to deal with PTSD everyday, had to scrimp and sacrifice so that I could help him rectify his stupid mistakes, fight him and his family alone, pay for a shitload of counseling that I wouldn't have needed if it weren't for his actions.

Think breaking up is hard?  Try dealing with a whole bunch of dysfunctional cruel lying brood.

1.  Kitty can let flow a stream of colourful language in Russian, Mandarin, Cantonese and English.  She still remembers how to say cockroach in Romanian too.

2.  Kitty serves coffee in the church welcome lounge every Sunday, but never drinks coffee.

3.  Kitty has a nervous tendency at the beginning of almost every photoshoot, which causes her to smile, subsequently she often gets told off for grinning at the camera instead of pouting.

4.  Kitty is VERY ticklish.  Her man has probably lost count of how many times he's been elbowed in the head by reflex reactions to tickling.  Yet he never learns.  And she should probably consider a career in UFC.

5.  Kitty doesn't eat spicy stuff.  Shut up about her Asian heritage and how shocking this revelation is.

6.  Kitty once cited Hugh Jackman as hot as an example to her man.  He probably still doesn't realize that she mentioned him as JUST an off-handed example, not as her actual idea of hot, because she doesn't really like excessive hairiness.

7.  Kitty once was asked for advice on becoming more flexible by this big muscular dude who was twice her width.  She was tempted to say "You'd be lucky if you can even touch your toes" but then after the guy explained he was a jujitsu fighter, she immediately shut up.  She didn't want to get Chuck Norris-ed.

8.  Kitty hates running for two reasons.  She has asthma which makes it hard to continuously go at it and the motion of running hurts her boobs.

9.  Kitty once accidentally kicked a guy in the nads.  It was during a game of football.

10.  Kitty wanted to be in the Ice Hockey team, but Papasha said that she was the size of a puck and was more likely to become a hockey puck flying through the air than to become a hockey player playing in the actual game.

11.  Kitty therefore ended up in Figure Skating where the possibility of becoming a human puck was zilch.

12.  Kitty was a prankster in school, pulling a ton of tricks on her friends and classmates, yet she won Best Conduct Award across the level TWICE.

13.  Kitty somehow managed to nab the Flying Colours Award for her contribution to Choir, despite her main contribution being trying to resign.

14.  Kitty is OCD, especially about matching sets of things.

15.  Kitty cooks a mean-ass Borsch.

16.  Kitty's hair is weird... on the left side, the hair tends to be wavy, on the right side, the hair tends to be curly.  It was the main source of frustration with the hair stylist during her last photoshoot, the reason that hair prep took more than 2 hours.

17.  Kitty's most embarrassing moment ever happened during an emergency check-up.

18.  Kitty loves sour cream chips and pretty much sour anything.  She probably gets this from her babushka who has a thing for drinking a spoonful of vinegar daily.

19.  Kitty has been inside a recording studio and has provided vocals for a song before.  The song was for the Singapore Cancer Society.

20.  Kitty loves Sumo Salad's Grilled Chicken and Marinated Mushroom Salad.  Mm-mm!

Woot I'M GOING TO GET THE PAPERWORK DONE TODAY AND FINALLY GET INTO A CLASS THAT HAS AN ASSISTANT LECTURER TODAY!  THANK YOU TO THE HEAD OF SCHOOL OF DESIGN STUDIES, YOU MADAME ARE AWESOME!!!

Finally.  Thank you God for this wonderful woman and Your amazing grace.